yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So much rum. So many feels.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
