really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
