He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
