Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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