there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
