I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
