i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize