Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize