Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
