So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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