OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize