He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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