Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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