this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
