who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
