I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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