I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
