Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
