I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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