ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are two peas in an std pod
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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