I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
