He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize