They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
