the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
