watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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