my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he puts the penis in happiness.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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