I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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