Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
