why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
