It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
