Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
