GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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