I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
