barbara walters just said penis...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So apparently I’m into choking now
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