I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize