He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
