Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
