Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
