1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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