A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's the barista slut.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
