Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
