How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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