My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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