Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize