moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
