Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
