is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
