so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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