He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
