Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
it's like iHOP with fire
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
