oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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