I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
