Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
