what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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