im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
