this beer tastes like vomit already
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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