I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
