He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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