At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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