Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize