stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we made out on top of his cat.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
