I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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