Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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