if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
